A Year of Vulnerabilities

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In the little over a year that I’ve been keeping this blog – sometimes actively; sometimes poorly – so many, many things have changed in my life.  My children have grown from infant and preschooler to toddler and big kid.  And I have struggled with growing up with them.  The constant pull and weight of wanting them to grow while wanting them always to be little – holding on to the fleeting stages with everything I have while knowing that in the next moment a new stage will begin with the same amazing grace of the last.

And in this last year, I’ve really found my niche in writing as a mother.  I started like the fish love the sea as a blog about writing, baking, mothering, and crafting.  I’m afraid those of you interested in baking, writing, and crafting have been terribly disappointed because, just as the rest of my life has gone, the blog has followed my mothering almost exclusively.  Which is okay with me.  I am fulfilled at most times in my writing by my blogging here, over at get born magazine, and for the Greeley Tribune’s Greeley Moms section.  I’m certainly baking and crafting and even writing as much as I can; I have just focused my energy here on processing the mothering side of things.

As the year ends and 2013 begins despite the doomsday-ers’ best predictions, I’ve done my requisite reflecting on the last twelve months.  This time last year, I was finally coming up for air following the postpartum depression that changed the way I think about motherhood.   I was groping for ways to really understand Baby K’s little personality, and still navigating the strange new dynamics of my two-child household.   Since then, I have done a lot of healing and forgiving – mostly of myself for the little things each day as I acknowledge that I truly am doing the best I can as N’s and K’s mother.

This new year will find me still seeking the right – or right-for-right-now – path for my family, and I suppose that will be my journey with each new year that comes.   Helping N grow his beautiful, exuberant interest in life; helping Baby K succeed in telling us about the quiet little soul behind the mouth that works so hard to speak.  Loving every moment with the perspective that it is all so vulnerable, so fleeting, and so perfect for the people that we are and the family we are meant to be.  Because the last two weeks – in particular the shooting in Connecticut – has deeply reminded me of our human vulnerabilities, and hopefully given me a lasting renewal of my dedication to appreciate the now.

So with that, I wish you all a wonderful new year filled with love and peace and light.  And I THANK YOU for reading, following, sharing like the fish love the sea.  Cheers to 2013, and Cheers to You!

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