Little K was so easy to potty train. Four days, and he was wearing undies full time. Two weeks, and he was successfully making it through every day without an accident, even staying dry at night. We were super parents…in that we let him wait until he was ready and then he just kind of potty trained himself.
Until he decided it wasn’t worth his time anymore. He had one accident during a kids’ Halloween party we were having at our house, and we chalked it up to overwhelming distraction. Then he had an accident on the floor in his bedroom. And in his pants in the yard. And sitting on the couch watching TV. Now, we’re back to square one. Or square two, at the most.
Which leads me to the conclusion that potty training a toddler is like a super fun game of Chutes and Ladders. If for some reason your childhood did not include this gem of a game, Chutes and Ladders involves moving a playing piece along a board with numbered squares that go up to something like 9,000. On any given turn, you can land on either a ladder (yay) and jump several rows, or you can land on a chute (bummer), and be sent careening back to the beginning to start all over.
Much like potty training with a toddler, you have no actual influence in the numbers you draw, whether you hit a ladder and get to move forward or a chute and have to trash all their previous progress on the game board. Little kids love the game, but it’s mind-numbing for their parents, and the damn thing never ends. Again, much like potty training.
So I guess I can sadly say I thought I’d hit the jackpot – the ladder that led straight to the top and crowned me the winner on the second turn. But I was a fool. I was one move away from that shining gold star when Little K handed me the next card, and it shot me right down that stupid shoot while he laughed and I soaked the game board with frustrated tears.